The Kawaii Bowl Pre-Show - By Greg "sgoast" Reynolds |------------------------------------------------| | Disclaimer: | | This is an original series, but it does have | | connections to various anime. I do not own, | | create, or profit from any of the anime | | mentioned in this story. Comments or questions | | may be sent to sgoast@hotmail.com. Now on to | | the story! | |------------------------------------------------| (Sgoast Nation Writers In This Story: Flounder, Gobuzz, Sgoast, Sir Pornelious III, AikoAiko (Formerly Known As Midnight Ryoko), Bad Kitty) (Scene: Camera pans back to show a full cheering arena. People are holding signs and general pandomonium. We see Flounder and Gobuzz in the commentater's booth) F: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Kawaii Bowl 2002! Im Flounder and to the right of me is Gobuzz! G: Hey Folks! The day has come! Months and months of compitition and training has led up to this moment! The Kawaii Bowl, 10 Ultra cute characters walk in, 1 walks out. Pure and simple. And we'll be here telling you about all the HOT HOT HOT action! F: See, the two guys that were supposed to be here never showed up... (Cut to: Bob Costas and John Madden tied up in the broom closet in their underwear) Bob Costas: I knew this was a bad idea when that one guy told me to take off my pants. John Madden: At least he only took off your pants.... (Cut back to Flounder and Gobuzz) F: ...and we weren't that busy, SOOOOO!!! G: That's how we got here! Now be really quiet or else the bossman might break up the fun! (Cut to: Sgoast in the front row in a gold plated chair with people around him tending to his every need.) SG: Hmmm... Bob and John haven't called me yet... I wonder where they went... *Claps his hands* GET ME MY COSTAS AND MADDEN GPS SYSTEM NOW! Assistant: It doesn't exist sir. SG: WELL MAKE ONE! CHOP CHOP!... AND GET ME A SLURPEE TOO!!! MY ROYAL THROAT DEMANDS QUENCHEDNESS! (Cut back to booth) F: Everyone is uproarious today. Even the scalpers are in an good mood! (Cut to outside: Sir Pornelious III is wearing a long trenchcoat and trying to attract customers, Three nuns walk by) SP3: HEY! LADIES! YOU NEED TICKETS? Great show today! Cutesy Characters beating the crap out of each other! Nun: Are you legal? SP3: Uh... In a few senses, yeah! Now... You want some tickets? Autographs? Watches? *opens his trenchcoat away from the camera, forgeting that all he is wearing is the trenchcoat itself* Oops. *One Nun screams, one Nun faints, and one Nun starts laughing* SP3: WHAT!?! ITS COLD! (Cut back to booth) G: Uh.... yeah... Anyways, this is the biggest anime fighting event of the year, with all the things that make that "other" January sports event so great! LOOK! WE EVEN HAVE CHEERLEADERS! (Cut to Field: 14 cheerleaders are doing a routine... theres one empty space.) Cheerleading Coach: Oh Crap... AikoAiko is late... Fred Luo: *Jumps up in a football uniform* Let me go in, coachy-woachy! I'll do sooooo very good! CC: *shudders* ok, Fred... F: YAY! *Jumps in and begins dancing along out of tune with the others* OH YEAH! GENE! LOOK AT ME NOW! UH! UH! UH! AikoAiko: *Runs in and throws two cabbits at Fred. They hop up and climb into her hands. She uses them like pom-poms* Ok buddy move it... *Shoves him into a trash can and sends one of the cabbits on him* F: Your... OW!... MEAN!... OW! (Cut back to booth) F: (Pauses) Where is Bad Kitty? G: Don't you at least want to have a reason to find her? F: The intros taking too long. G: Ah. (Cut to Locker Room, Jim is taking off his shirt) J: Elimnated in the preseason.... how embarassing... *hears heavy breathing* What the... (A shadow shoots by) Oh my god... (again) KITTY! DO THE WORDS RESTRAINING ORDER MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? Bad Kitty: *evil laugh* Nope. (Cut back To booth) G: Good thing he mentioned the preseason, now I dont have to do a segway! In fact we had over 100 extremely cute anime characters that in one way or another were elimnated. (Flashback: Li vs. Chiaotzu) Li: I am the chosen one! I shall take you out and then make my way to the finals and win the Kawaii-Cup! HAHA! You do not stand a chance! *Continues Chattering* Chiaotzu: *is stunned, Blows Li out of the Arena anyway* What a hot air bag... (Flashback: Utena vs. Atheny) Utena: I WILL NOT BETRAY YOU ATH... *is stabbed in the back* AGH! Atheny: Hey, It makes more sense then the series ending... or is it the same thing? (Flashback: Spike vs. Ein) Spike: *Flailing Ein around who is biting spikes leg* STUPID DOG! (Zoom to Eustace and Courage in the crowd) Eustace: Oh, Great. Not only is Anime stealing my time spot, but now they're stealing my catch-phrases! Courage: *Waves an "Ein" Flag* Aruuu! Eustace: STUPID DOG! *Scares him* (Cut back to booth) F: Well, Now that we know the people who AREN'T In the competition, lets see what this year's warriors of lovelyness... Ok, whoever wrote that line has to be shot... Chu-Chu Pikachu Ryo-ohki Mokona Kero Ein Luna Keroneko-sama Puar P-Chan | | | | | | | | | | |________| |_________| |_______| |__________| |_______| | | | |______________________| | | | | |____________________| |___________________________| | | |__________________________________________| | _______________________ KAWAII BOWL 2002 CHAMPION G: That mean's the next episode will feature Chu-Chu from Revolutonary Girl Utena against Pikachu from Pokemon. F: Ryo-ohki from Tenchi Muyo against Mokona from Magic Knight Rayearth. G: And Kero from Card Captor Sakura against Ein From Cowboy Bebop! F: Then in the next episode after that, it'll be Luna from Sailor Moon against Keroneko-sama from Trigun. G: Puar from DBZ against P-chan from Ranma 1/2. F: And the winners from those two matches face off for the 4th Semi Final Spot! G: Finally, on the last episode, the semifinals and the finals! F: Hold on to your trousers! Its gonna be a hoot! And other strange sayings too! G: So see ya next time! NEXT TIME: QUARTERFINALS PART I VOTE FOR WHO YOU WANT TO WIN THE NEXT 3 MATCHES BY E-MAILING SGOAST@HOTMAIL.COM!