Mst of "Kiyone Meets the Law" Sgoast: *Is strapped in a "Clockwork Orange" type chair* WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?! Flounder: Its called revenge my dear friend. Kay: Yeah....and besides that we were bored. Sgoast: Huh? (all four nod) Gobuzz: Remember that one fic you did... oh... what was it called... Jacqui: Kiyone meets the law? Gobuzz: Yes. That's It! Sgoast: What about it!?! Kay: Well....how can we say this... Flounder: It sucked. Gobuzz: You wasted 3 minutes of our lives. Kay: Now its time for you to pay....mwa ha ha...*cough* ha. Sgoast: You're all sick. All: Thank You. (At that moment Ed comes flying by wearing a "ED LIKES MST" T-shirt) Sgoast: *eyes get huge* DEAR MOTHER OF GOD! NO! Jacqui: Sorry Greg, Its time you learned criticism... THE HARD WAY! NOW WHO'S UP FOR A BURRITO!!! All: YAY! (They leave. All that is left is Sgoast and Ed.) Sgoast: *peers at Ed* Ed: Hi Mr. Sgoast Person! Sgoast: Hi Ms. Annoying person I wouldn't put in one of my fics if i had a gun to my face! Ed: *blinks* Sgoast person funny! Sgoast: You're a strange one, you know that? Ed: Uh huh! Sgoast: *sighs* Ed: *runs over to door* Faye-Faye! Bring all the peoples in!! (Faye, Jim, Gene, Vash and Kiyone walk in. They file in surrounding him yet pointed at the screen) Kiyone: After this fic... I want a piece of you too, hun. *laughs evily* (Faye looks oddly at Kiyone) Kiyone: You know what I mean! The fic sucked! I wanna beat him up for it! Gene: Riiiight.... (Ed gets in Kiyone's face) Ed: Are you his girlfriend? Kiyone: *Blushes* Eh... Err...Ah.... Sgoast: She doesn't have to answer that. Jim: Hey! I thought we had a fic to MST! Gene: *kicks Jim* Hey! This is getting interesting! (The fic starts) G: Awwww...Damn Vash: All of yah! Quiet! Its starting! (Faye looks at Vash) Faye: Who made you boss? Vash: Uh.... I just had to say something. I was being uncharacteristically quiet. Faye: Oh, ok. Kiyone meets the Law - By Greg "sgoast" Reynolds Ed: *immediately falls asleep* Sgoast: *kicks Ed* If I'm going through this, you are too! Ed: *falls over* Weeee! |------------------------------------------------| | Disclaimer: | | I have absolutely no connection to Pioneer or | | any of the people that make "Tenchi Muyo!" | | therefore I would be quite pleased if I wasn't | | sued. Jim: Don't look now....but....you're being sued! (Jim wonders why he is the only one laughing) Yes, that'd be nice. "Tenchi" and all of | | its characters are trademarked and so don't go | | talking smack about 'em or else! Hehe ^_^ | |------------------------------------------------| Vash: Smack Smack Smackedy Smack! Faye: *talks smack about them* Oh damn shouldn't have done that..... Setting: Dark road 15 miles away from Okayama, 4:56 in the morning. Jim: *hums the theme to Twilight Zone* We see Kiyone in a beaten down Hundai driving home after a hard day of protecting the galaxy) Kiyone: Like we actually do that... Faye: If you protect the galaxy, why do you have a beaten down car? Kiyone: Bruce Wayne didn't drive the Batmobile around you know. Faye: Well....uh....you're not Batman...are you?? *stares at Kiyone* Kiyone: Of course not! Gene: Geez, Kiyone, You certainly are hiding a lot today. Kiyone: *Sighs* I'm not sure how long I can take these late shifts... Kiyone: I'm a better worker than that... with Mihoshi... All: Oh. (Flashback to earlier that night) Mihoshi: HEY KIYONE! WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE OUT HERE SO LATE? Jim: SO MAYBE SOMEONE WILL COME BY AND KILL YOU MIHOSHI! Kiyone: Actually, that's what I was hoping... Faye: You know, you do have a gun... Ed: Blonde go boom! Vash: It has to look like an accident, remember? Faye: But if she's shot, they'll all think she just had the gun pointed the wrong way. No one would give it a second thought. Kiyone: You have a point. Kiyone: Mihoshi! Shhh! We have to. Your last stunt got us in deep trouble with central command. Gene: Never jump those trash cans in the motorcycle ever again! Just cause the Fonz can do it doesn't mean you can! Jim: But Gene....what about that time *you* thought you were the Fonz? Gene: Aaayyy... Its a touchy subject. Mihoshi: Oh... But I thought the visiting dignitary from the snail planet wanted a pretzel! Faye: What the hell? Sgoast: *Beats his head on the back of his chair* Ed: Careful! You'll hurt the chair! Kiyone: Well, why did you ask for extra salt? Mihoshi: I was hungry and... Oh. Kiyone: Click, and the dim light goes on. Vash: Hey, I'm hungry too! *Looks across the row* Got any donuts? Faye: Uh...I have half a lipstick tube and a gun. You can have the lipstick. Vash: Yum! Faye: o.O;; Gene: Ugh, have you no dignity, man!?! Vash: Not when there's a pretty lady involved! *munches on it* Faye: *looks oddly at Vash* Vash: ^_^ Kiyone: Anyway, you don't even have to be here. Your grandpa gave you a pardon from this work. In fact, I'm touched by the fact that you decided to stay here with me. You know Mihoshi maybe I... Gene: *as Kiyone* Could really start to love you like I know you love me! Kiyone and Sgoast: HEY!!! Faye: And idiot boy makes his first mistake. (Mihoshi is gone, all that is left is a Mihoshi-shaped cloud. Ed: OOOOOooooooOOoh....*tries to make an Ed-shaped cloud* Vash: Don't hurt yourself. Ed: Ed made an Ed-shaped hole in the wall, does that count? Kiyone puts her hand on her forehead, shakes her head, and sighs. End of flashback) Vash: See! Look at that Ed, you've even annoyed the fic! Ed: Ed did not! Kiyone: Geez... (A siren is heard) Vash: *screams and runs out* Jim: Uhhhhh.... Vash: *comes back in slowly* Sorry, force of habit. Faye: *gets an idea* Hey...uh....Vash....you don't by chance happen to have a bounty on you, do you? Vash: Uh.... Of course not! Faye: You sure? Sgoast: *under his breath* oh of course not... only $$60,000,000,000... not that much... Vash: YOU SQUEALER! (Gene, Faye and Kiyone get up) Faye: *whips out her gun* All right stay where you are! Gene: Oh no way! He's mine! Faye: I saw him first! Kiyone: Well, I'm the police around here, I should rightfully get him. Faye: I don't think so sister. Gene: Yeah, Leave the bounties to the bounty hunters, thank you! Ed: *throws her arms around Vash* I GOT HIM!!! Vash: OO' uh... I'm a little old for you, Ed Faye: *picks up Ed and tosses her outta the way* All right, come along quietly and I won't shoot you. Vash: Eheh... You know my reputation, right? The humanoid typhoon? Ever heard of that? Jim: Wait a minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you realize that this all started because of a siren in a story and that we've gotten TOTALLY off track?!?!?!?! (Everyone looks at Jim) Jim: What? Is something on my face? Gene: For 60 Billion Double Dollars, I don't mind getting off track a little. Faye: Well.....I still saw him first. Gene: We'll settle this after the fic. Faye: All right. Vash: If you can catch me. ^_^ Faye: *scoots towards Vash nonchalantly* Vash: Well, isn't this cute! Sure I'll put my arm around you, Faye! Just... *starts putting his arm around her* Faye: *puts her gun under Vash's chin* Hold it right there. Vash: *laughs a little and crunches into a ball on his seat* Faye: *blinks* Kiyone: Oh Crap. *Pulls Over* Gene: ...And hits a cat Jim: No! What if it belonged to Hanmyo?! Gene: Um, Jim... Rude awakening time... Jim: What? (Cop walks up) Gene: Nevermind.. Jim: Gene, what were you talking about? Tell meeee! Gene: Lets just say, those cats wont have a problem getting underfoot anymore. Jim: *sits thinking* You lost me. Sgoast: She's dead, Jim. Jim: ......really? Sgoast: Dead as a doornail. Jim: Well that's why that bitch stood me up! Cop: Sir, could you roll down your window Ed: Is it done yet? Vash: Yes Ed, That's how all fics end.... with a cop asking a question... Ed: That's what Ed thought! ^.^ Kiyone: *Rolls the window down* Sir? Kiyone: How dare he! Faye: That cop is sexist! Gene: You Go Guy!!! Faye: *throws random things at Gene* Gene: Ow! AGH! OW! Cop: Oh! *Blushes* Ma'am. Sorry, it's kinda foggy... Jim: *notices the extreme lack of fog* Kiyone: *Pokes Sgoast* You could have just said it was too dark to see. Ed: *runs around screaming* Cop on drugs! Cop on drugs! Sgoast: Stop giving me pointers... ok? Kiyone: No need to get snippy. Gene: OOOOOH! Trouble in Paradise! Kiyone and Sgoast: SHADDUP! Kiyone: That's ok, just tell me why you pulled me over. Vash: *as the cop* Cause you hit five people back there. Faye:....You say that like you're no supposed to do that... Cop: Well, you were kinda speeding. Faye: *as Kiyone* But do you realize you were speeding too? You had to catch up to me right? Jim and Ed: Ticket! Ticket! Ticket! Vash: Nah. She wasn't speeding.... Gene: Huh? Vash: She was "sorta" speeding! (Everyone falls over anime style) May I have your Drivers License and I.D.? Gene: And your phone number? (Cop Pickup Line #43) Faye: -.- Ugh, you are lame. Kiyone: It works though. Sgoast: HOLD UP!!!!!! Faye: Have you actually tried it Kiyone?? Kiyone: All the time. Sgoast: HEY HEY!! Faye: What is wrong with you people?! Vash: Ask the writers... They made us this way. (All stare at Sgoast) Sgoast: ....What? Ed: *looks above her as if expecting to see giant hands and puppet strings* Kiyone: *Gives the I.D. and License to the cop* Yeah, What do you mean speeding! I was on the limit! Cop: No you weren't Miss... Kiyone. Hey, It says here that you're a galaxy police officer. Faye: No shit Sherlock. Vash: Oops, there goes our kid-friendly rating... Faye: Ah, hell with it. Gene: Who's up for casual swearing! Faye: *raises her hand* (They all sing "Blink 182 - Family Reunion") Kiyone: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The irony is painfully apparent. Sgoast: Pain...Pain... Kiyone: Here. (Hydrates his eyes with an eyedropper) Sgoast: Better... Better.... Well what did your scanner read? Jim: All 4 Harry Potters. Vash: *as the cop* Its says you're a foxy foxy lady! Gene: It must be broken then Sgoast: *kicks Gene* Gene: OW! What's the big deal? Ed: Ooooh, fight! *gets popcorn* Sgoast: Gene, if I wasn't attached to this chair I'd.... Ed: Jump up and do the Time Warp? Sgoast: ....punch Ed first, but then I'd really teach you a lesson, Gene. Cop: 70 in a 55 MPH Zone. Faye: That's all? I do 100 in a school zone with kids crossing. Kiyone: So that's where the screams are coming from... Gene: Five points! Kiyone: Here, let me see that scanner. *grabs it* Jim: *as cop* Well, now I have to charge you with stealing. Kiyone: It's called "obstruction of justice", Jim. Jim: Uh....ok? *goes back to checking his 7 pages of fan email from Kay* Cop: HEY! Stop that! *Tugs on it* Ed: Can Ed play the game too? Faye: Hey Ed....isn't that Ein outside barking as though he was being abducted by the evil radioactive pink umbrellas? Ed: Oh no, not Ein! *runs outside* (Everyone sighs in relief) (The two fight over it, Kiyone finally wins over the cop) Kiyone: BooYA! Who's the champ! Jim: o.O;; Gene: Whoopy... All you did was coax a donut scarfer out of his scanner. Faye: I've done better than that. Vash: Did someone say donuts? Kiyone: Ah! Look! The meter is all wrong. *Fiddles with the scanner* Jim: *watches as it spontaneously combusts* See. Look at it now. (Ed walks in with a broken pink umbrella in her hand and Ein) Ed: You were right Faye-Faye! Faye: Uh........? (Everyone growls at Faye) Faye: I thought I made it up....^^; Gene: You... Vash: Thought... Jim: Wrong... Faye: *drops her head in defeat* Cop: Right... *Tests it on a passing car* Hey... I think your right. I guess I can let you go on reasonable doubt. Faye: *keeps her mouth shut for a while* Kiyone: Good cause its late and all... Jim: *as Kiyone* I gotta make sure 7-11 is still open. Vash: Mmmmm.... Slurpee..... Ed: Ed wants slurpee! Sgoast: *Gets handed a huge money bag from a 7-11 guy in a suit* Hey! Cool! Jim:.....? Sgoast: Product endorsements so totally reek of awesomeness! Jim: But I was the one that mentioned 7-11! T.T Sgoast: Well, I'm the writer here, so there! Jim: *drops a random anvil on Sgoast* Sgoast: Ugh..... (Releases the moneybag) Cop: HEY! This says my car is going 75 MPH! Kiyone: When did the budget fit in mind altering cars? Vash: Between Speed Buggy and Night Rider. Ed: *stares absentmindedly at a large spider crawling up Gene's arm* Gene: Well, when'll this fic end anyway? *unknowing of the spider* Jim: *notices the spider, squeals like a girl and hides* Gene: What? Is something on my face? Faye: Not your face.. Gene: What are you... *notices it* ... oh. *tosses it in the air* Yo, Vash, target practice time. Vash: *Aims* Ed: *still staring at the spider* Did you know that spider is very poisonous? (The spider lands on Sgoast) Sgoast: DON'T SHOOT! DON'T BITE! AGH!!! *faints* Ed: Ed was just kidding. ^.^ Kiyone: *growls angrily at Ed* Ed: *picks up the spider and feeds it to Ein* Gene: Awww, isn't that cute... standing up for your man. Kiyone: GENE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS!?!?!?! Jim: *begins to dial 911* Gene: Doesn't matter. I still wont believe you. Jim: Hello, I'd like to reserve a room for Mr. Gene Starwind. Yes, he'll be in shortly to have Kiyone's foot removed from his ass. Thank you. *hangs up* Kiyone: I think it is... You forgot to leave your parking break on, didn't you? Cop: I... HOLY CRAP! MY CAR! *Chases it into the horizon* Vash: *A single tear falls* Goodbye, noble cowboy! Faye: See you space cowboy.....Sorry, couldn't resist ^.^; Kiyone: *Sits there stunned* Oook... (Jim's computer suddenly beeps "You've got mail from Kay_Hawking@hotmail.com") Jim: Eh...^^; Gene: Oooooh... Jim's gotta girlfriend, Jim's gotta girlfriend. Jim: Shut up Gene! Sgoast: Gene, knock it off. Gene: Ooooooh, Goasty's gotta girlfriend, Goasty's gotta girlfriend... Faye: Gene, it might be wise to shut up. Gene: Oooooooh, Faye's gotta boyfriend, Faye's gotta boyfriend! Faye: Ok that's it. *grabs her gun and aims at Gene* Gene: Eep. Faye: Say one word and die. Ed: But Faye-Faye, I thought you liked Spike person. (Faye turns red and sits down muttering) Vash: Well, well, well, hasn't this turned into an emotional rollercoaster... the only one unscathed is me I guess! Sgoast: One word Vash. Meryl. Vash: *fizzles out and sits down* 20 Minutes Later, On the steps to the Masaki household, Kiyone meets up with Tenchi as he heads to the shrine for an early training session) Jim: But sadly it was still dark outside and Tenchi thought Kiyone was a stalker, so he beat her senseless with a broom and did a little dance around her convulsing body. Tenchi: Hi Kiyone! What took you so long to get home? Gene: *as Kiyone* Everyone thought I was a hooker. Faye: Uh....hey Gene...There's a group of girls out there calling your name....go look for them....now. Gene: WOO HOO! *runs out the door* Jim: Thank God. Kiyone: Late shift. Kiyone: Seriously, that's when the hookers come out, though. Faye: So, are you saying....? Kiyone: *Slaps Faye* NO! Faye: Oh, you did *NOT* just do that! *yanks on Kiyone's hair* (A Cat Fight Commences, Sgoast is still stuck in the chair) Jim: *is glad Gene is not here now* Vash: OH YEAH! NOW THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT! Jim: Ehhh....he left his clone -.- Tenchi: Hmmm. Did you learn anything intresting? Vash: Perhaps, How to spell "Interesting" (Faye emerges from the cat fight with Kiyone's headband and takes off running) Kiyone: HEY! THAT'S MY SIGNATURE CLOTHING ITEM! *Her hair gets so long she trips over it* Faye: *falls over laughing* Kiyone: In fact, Yes. There is more than one Mihoshi in the world. Kiyone: OH DEAR GOD! *passes out* Faye: Hmm....I guess I won ^.^ (The chair releases Sgoast) Sgoast: (Runs to Kiyone) KIYONE! Are you ok!?!?! Kiyone: No, you dip. I tripped over my hair and heard the most horrible thing in the world! *starts to cry* Faye: *suppresses a laugh* Sgoast: Awww... *hugs her* Kiyone: *hugs back* Jim: "I'll never let go Jack" Vash: Great... We're MSTing ourselves now! Faye: Oh the humanity. Ed: Gene person go bye bye? Vash: Mmmhmmm. Ed: Ed will go and find him! *runs off with Ein under her arm* Ein: *contented bark* ^_^ (Kay comes back in) Kay: Hi Jimmykins! Did you get my emails? Jim: All 972 of them... Kay: All right then, lets go get a soda! (Kay drags Jim out) Vash: Ok... This was just weird, I used to be jealous of not being in these fics.... *walks out too* Faye: There goes my bounty.....Hey Vash! Wait up! >=) *runs out hiding her gun behind her back* Vash: *Distant* Agh! (All that remains are Sgoast and Kiyone in each others arms as "The End" rolls by, The other writers are standing in the doorway, Kay nearly hugging Jim to death.) Flounder: (To Gobuzz) Well, congratulations... Instead of punishing him, he ends up with the girl in his arms! Gobuzz: This wasn't my idea! Kay: *is continuously muttering about Jim* Jacqui: This is just......wrong. I'm 12 years old people!! Flounder: Well whose idea was it anyway then? Jacqui: Mine. Gobuzz: Huh, Why? Jacqui: (walks away and out the door) Consider it my goodbye present... (The other writers follow confused, Kay still very much attached to Jim. Sgoast and Kiyone look at each other deep into each others eyes. The two of them move closer and closer until they are less than an inch away. Fade to Black. To Be Continued)