A Tour of Sgoast Industries - By Greg "sgoast" Reynolds |------------------------------------------------| | Disclaimer: | | I have absolutely no connection to any of the | | people that make the anime characters here, | | therefore I would be quite pleased if I wasn't | | sued. Yes, that'd be nice. The animes and all | | of its characters are trademarked and so don't | | go talking smack about 'em or else! Hehe ^_^ | |------------------------------------------------| (Scene: In front of a two story building with a simple sign that says "Sgoast Industries: Home of Sgoast Nation", Kiyone stands) K - Hello and welcome to Sgoast Industries. Today we will be touring the pride and joy of the company... (Mihoshi walks in) M - Kiyone! I thought the technical bitmapping company down the hall was the pride and joy of the company. K - ..er... Ok, The bastard lovechild of the company, Sgoast Nation! We'll be looking through the halls of this twisted little place we call home (Smiles forcefully, To Mihoshi under her breath) How long does this stupid premise have to last? M - (Smiling stupidly) Mr. Reynolds told me it should last at least throughout the building! K - "Mr. Reynolds"? Why so formal? Why not Greg like everyone else calls him?... AND WHY DID HE PERSONALLY TELL YOU?!? M - I Dunno... He said something about a blank chalkboard has plenty of space to write on... Hey Kiyone? You got any chalk? K - (Smacks herself in the forehead) (Scene: Right outside of the offices, we see two doors. One has the sgoast nation logo on it. The other is unintelligible.) K - Here we see the entrance to the sgoast nation office. This other door leads to one of the places where most of our stories are conceived in. The bar. M - Mostly 'cause we're drunk of our butts when we write these stories! (Door to bar opens) Bar patrons - "...And then gene gets eaten by a walrus!" "Great idea!" "BUUURP!" (Door Closes) (Scene: In front of office. Sign on door says "Greg "sgoast" Reynolds: Editor, Writer" and in magic marker "Slave Driver") M - Kiyone! Stop here! Mr. Reynolds told me to tell him when we went by! K - Ok... (Knocks on the door) Greg - (Opens Door) Yes? Oh! Kiyone, nice to see you! How's the tour go... (Sees Mihoshi) Oh. Hi Mihoshi... M - HI MR. REYNOLDS! G - "Greg". You can call me "Greg". What are you trying to do anyway? Its not like sucking up to me would do anything. M - You could have me direct! G and K - (Sigh and shake their heads) G - Anyway, I thought I told you I had a "Special" assignment for you... M - You mean sorting those stuffed bunnies in my room? I did that yesterday when you and Aisha were having a meeting, and when you and Raye were having a meeting, and when... K - (Looks really pissed towards Greg) Excuse me? "Meetings"?!? G - Uh... Mihoshi! Do you remember when I talked about things we don't talk about in front of auntie Kiyone? M - I forgot. K - Greg, after the tour, WE NEED TO TALK! G - Eh heh... (Scene: In front of a door. The sign says "Kay "Bad Kitty" O'Neil: Main Writer", They open the door.) G - This is the office of our main writer, Kay, works in. M - She's probably the most mentally imbalanced one who works here! K - But remember, here at Sgoast Industries... All at once - THAT'S NOT A BAD THING! THAT'S A GOOD THING! Kay - SHADDUP! I'M BUSY! (We see her in a dark secluded room covered with spiderwebs. Kay is busily typing away at a notebook) G - Kay, Maybe you should take a break... Kay - NO! MUST KEEP WORKING! MUST STAY AWAKE! SHADOW IN CORNER WILL ATTACK ME WHILE IM SLEEPING! Kiyone - That's your own shadow... Kay - Quiet! I've just wasted 13 and a half seconds talk to you! 15... 16... AGH!!! M - Oook... (Closes door) (Scene: In front of two doors, "Nick "Gobuzz" Siatos" and "Ben "Flounder" Dittman") M - This here is the offices of... (Both doors open. Noones in either of them.) G - Not again... (Muffled music is heard, The group approaches the employee lounge. There we see Ben and Nick relaxing and listening to music, Gobuzz is petting Ryo-ohki) HEY! Ben - What do you want, Reynolds? G - I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO SIT AROUND AND PET THE VARIOUS CUTE ANIME CHARACTERS! Nick - You don't pay us at all. G - Oh. B - Besides, I never get to pet any cute anime creatures. If I did, you know who i'd pick? N - Who? B - Ryoko. Ryoko - (floats by) Pig... B - Oink, Oink. N - (Giggles) Wait a sec! KIYONE! I have a script for you to *ahem* read. K - No Way! All your stories are sick, Nick! N - What do you mean?!? K - They always end up with me naked in a bowl of pudding! N - This one doesn't... oh wait, it does. K - See. G - DUDE! THAT IS NOT COOL! N - DUDE! WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE?!? G - DUDE! N - DUDE! G - DUDE! K - DAMMIT YOU TWO! SHUT UP!!! N and G - Sorry. (Scene: In front of the last office, It reads "Jacqui "Midnight Ryoko" Dunn") K - Oh geez. G - Quiet Kiyone. K - I don't want to stop here. M - Why not? K - (Whispers in Mihoshi's ear) M - Oh, How long? K - (Whispers in her ear again) M - ...Yikes, so he and her... K - (Nods) M - Woah. What were we talking about again? G - Nevermind Mihoshi... (Opens the door, we see a normal looking office with jacqui typing feverishly) Ah! Hi Jacqui! Jacqui - (Surprised) AGH! Oh! Hi everyone! (Laughs uncomfortably) G - Wow! What's with all the typing? You working on a fic? J - Uh.... YEAH! That's what i'm doing! G - Let me see it! J - NO! G - Oh come on, it can't be that bad! (Both struggle over the computer until Greg grabs the mouse, maximizing a window showing Jacqui's site.) Jacqui... What are you doing on your site? J - (Struggles for an answer) Uh, um, er... Market research! Yeah! That's it! G - (Peers at Jacqui) Riiight... You were using company time to post fan fics on your personal website. Weren't you? J - No. Of course not, why would I do that? (Window opens saying: "Fanfic upload unsuccessful: Try Rebooting") NOOO!!! K - Greg, Lets go... J - AAAGH! (They leave) (Scene: Walking down the hall, leaving the building) K - Well, thats about it over here! 6 rooms of contained madness, bottled, and shipped to your local otaku's computer daily... G - Not really daily, more like monthly. M - Anyway! There's the door! Leave! K - MIHOSHI! Don't be so rude! Go outside and play. M - YAY! (Leaves, Anvil immediately drops on her) N - DAMMIT! I MISSED GREG! SORRY MIHOSHI! M - No...er...Problem... G - 'Night everybody! (Closes Door, The two are heard behind the door) K - MEETINGS?!? G - KIYONE! ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK! K - IT SURE AS HELL BETTER NOT BE! (A Beautifully Old English text appears on the screen saying: THE END) G - IT'S JUST A MEETING! YOU KNOW, PERSON TO PERSON BUSINESS MEETINGS! K - OH YEAH, AND THE "MEETING" YOU HAD WITH ME WAS JUST "BUSINESS"! G - Well that was something totally different... (Fade to Black)