Childhood Troubles (scene 1 Ryoko, Gene and Ayeka walk out of a house and head towards a red car.) Ryoko: Dude sweeeet car Ayeka, can I drive?! Ayeka: Um..well you have been drinking.. Gene: I call shot gun! (they pile into the car and none think to fasten that little thingy that is supposed to save your life.) Ryoko: GAS PEDAL! WEEEEE! (they take off at 120 mph. 10 seconds later they hit a tree and crash and burn) Ayeka: Owie, I hit the windshield. (she picks bits of glass out of her hair) Gene: You shoulda just hit the funky rat with wings... Ryoko: But he was cute and yellow and he dubbed me a card captor! (they hear sirens and a police car drives up. Mihoshi and Kiyone get out) Kiyone: Licence and registration please! (Ryoko blinks and looks around the car) Ryoko: Um...no? Kiyone: Excuse me? Have you been drinking? Ryoko: Maybe? Mihoshi: Drinking is bad Ryoko! Don't you know you should never drink and drive?! You might hit a bump and spill your beer! (Mihoshi's brilliant tip is rewarded with a smack in the face by Kiyone) Kiyone: I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid I'll have to take you in to the station for questioning. Everyone get out of the car and put your hands on your heads! (They all get out and break into a mad rush to put their hands on each other's heads) Mihoshi: Oh that looks like fun! Kiyone: STOP THAT! PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR OWN HEADS! (they all cower in fear and do as they are told. Kiyone crams them into the police car and they drive off) Announcer man: We'll return to the after school special in a minute! (commercial break) Sakura: Oh my God! Look at my new Barbie! Rini: Oh it's cute, but mine is cuter! Sasami: You're both wrong, mine is! All three: IT'S 98BACKSYNC BOYS BARBIE!!! Announcer: Yes it's 98Backsync Boys Barbie! The #1 toy for girls! Sakura: (as Barbie) Oh my God! Look it's their tour bus! Rini: (as Barbie) I have a backstage pass! Sasami: (as Barbie) My sign will totally get their attention! All three: I LOVE MY 98BACKSYNC BOYS BARBIE! Announcer: From Mattell. (commercial ends) Announcer man: And now back to the after school special. (scene 2 Everyone is at the police station. Ryoko is on the phone) Ryoko: Mom! You gotta come bail us out! Washu: How many times do I have to tell you Ryoko, when you drink and drive stick to the backroads! Ryoko: Mommy!!! Washu: And why should I come get you? Ryoko: Um....because? Washu: Ugh..I'll be right there. (she hangs up) Ryoko: Yay! Mom is coming! Ayeka: I can't believe you Ryoko! Ryoko: Oh get over it. We'll live. (in the meantime Gene is playing with a nearby vending machine) Gene: This damn thing has taken $10 in quarters from me already and I'm not getting anything out of it! (A random police officer walks over and pushes some buttons. $10 in snacks fly out) Gene:...I knew that. (Washu arrives at the station) Washu: Ok what happened? Ayeka: Ryoko was drinking and she got in a car and drove and I said it was a bad idea and she crashed and and and... Washu: Do you ever shut up woman?! Jesus! Ryoko: Mommy! (she jumps onto Washu) Washu: Agh! (falls down) Ryoko: Was not me... Washu: Get off me and we'll leave. (Ryoko does so and they all get into Washu's brand spankin' new car) Washu: Damnit I can't reach the pedals. Everyone: -_- Announcer man: We'll return to the after school special in a minute! (commercial break) 2-D: Welcome to the Gorillaz anything and everything store! Murdoc: Mwa ha ha ha...look a monkey! Russell: Come on in, we sell and do everything just for you! Noodle: Get the cool...get the cool shoeshine.. 2-D: I got sunshine in a bag...to sell to you! Russell: Only $19.95! Murdoc: Monkey monkey monkey....(he chases the monkey) Noodle: Anybody want a shoeshine? (Murdoc looks evil as he grabs the poor monkey) 2-D: Don't forget to come see us.... (odd music plays and they all laugh) (commercial ends) Announcer man: And now back to the after school special. (scene 3 Noname high at lunch hour) Fuu: Umi, Hikaru....can I talk to you? Umi: If it's one of your long speeches on how we should be reading... Fuu: No.. Hikaru: Oh then it should be interesting. (takes popcorn from some passerby and shares it with Umi) Fuu: I have a new boyfriend! ^-^ Umi: You had an old one? (Hikaru hits Umi) Umi: OW! (Umi yanks on Hikaru's braid. Fuu gets really big and menacing) Fuu: STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!! Hikaru and Umi: o.O;; Fuu: That's better. ^-^ Umi: So what's your boyfriend like? Fuu: Come on I'll show you. (Fuu leads them over to a group of really good looking guys) Fuu: That's him over there in the brown shirt. (Umi and Hikaru look around trying to find a cute guy in a brown shirt but the only one in brown happens to be Tenchi) Umi and Hikaru: HIM?! Fuu: Ain't he cute? (Hikaru and Umi fall over in despair) Tenchi: Hey Fuu! Fuu: Hi Tenchi! (just then the bell rings) Tenchi: Meet me after school in the park, ok? Fuu: Ok. (they all go their separate ways) Announcer man: We'll return to the after school special in a minute! (commercial break) (Brak and Zorak are playing a video game) Announcer: Head-kicker game: $45 (Brak and Zorak are shown in someone's backyard) Announcer: Equipment to build a time machine: $100 (Brak and Zorak walk into the kitchen) Announcer: Having your homework done on time and getting to go to fish pockets: priceless. (Everyone gets in a car and they drive off) Announcer: There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's mastercard. (end commercial) Announcer man: And now back to the after school special. (scene 4 Fuu is waiting in a park) Fuu: I wonder where Tenchi is... (Sakuya walks up) Sakuya: Hey, what are you doing here? This is my spot. Fuu: Oh? Does it have your name on it? Property of skank on it? Sakuya: Ooh that was a good remark you...um...person! (they both blink and see Mayuka walk up) Mayuka: Hey...why are you two here? Fuu and Sakuya: I'm waiting for Tenchi...what?! No you're not, I am! (all three look at each other) Mayuka: I'm waiting for Tenchi! (all three engage in a large catfight. Fuu's glasses go flying and smack a random person in the face) Random person: OW! (falls over) (at that time Tenchi walks up and sees the fight) Tenchi: Um...oops. (the girls stop fighting and run over to Tenchi) All 3 girls: I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE HAD A DATE TENCHI! Tenchi: Damnit Sakuya, I thought I had a restraining order against you! Sakuya: But.... Tenchi: Sorry Fuu and Mayuka, but it's not really a "date" we're just going to this really big party with alcohol and we'll all get drunk and have fun but Sakuya can't come cause everyone hates her. Ok now, bye! (Tenchi, Mayuka and Fuu all get into a car and drive off with Sakuya chasing the car like a dog.) Announcer man: We'll return to the after school special in a minute! (commercial break) (Lara Croft is running through a jungle being chased by a large tiger. She shoots behind her but isn't looking where she's going. She crashes into a tree and knocks it and all the rest of them down.) Director: Cut! Cut! Lara that's the 3rd time today you've knocked the damn jungle down! (the tiger stands up on two legs and takes his head off revealing some guy in duct taped glasses) Guy in tiger suit: Perhaps you should watch were you're going. (he sniffs and pushes his glasses up) Lara: I can't work on this set! The scenery is crap! And where the hell is my mocha latte?! Stage girl: Right away Miss Croft! (she runs off in terror) Lara: I'll be in my trailer until the people around here get their act straight! (she storms off) (everyone mutters. The stage girl comes back) Stage girl: Where'd she go? Guy in tiger suit: Who cares, mocha latte for me! =) (Lara shoots her guns and takes the mocha latte) Lara: No one messes with my Starbucks. Announcer: Starbucks coffee! Just what you need...or something... Director: CUT!! (end commercial) Announcer man: And now back to the after school special. (scene 5 Ayeka's house. Washu and Tenchi pull up at the same time and everyone in the cars get out) Mayuka: I'm sure glad Sakuya hit that tree a while back. Fuu: Me too. Ryoko: Didn't we start out here? Gene: Aww I can't remember. That was 20 minutes ago. Ayeka: Is something going on in my house?! (they all walk in to see there is a huge party. Ayeka falls over in a faint) Ryoko: Wow cool party Ayeka, I didn't know you had it in ya. (Ayeka convulses on the floor. They hear a yell and look up to see Suzuka swinging from a chandelier) Gene: I think someone switched her tea... (Fuu walks over to Umi and Hikaru who both have drinks in their hands) Fuu: Aren't we a little young to be drinking? Umi: Oh get over it you goody two shoes! (she puts a cup in Fuu's hand) Hikaru: Whoa look at that chick swinging on the chandelier....awesome... (Fuu looks down at the cup in her hand and takes a sip. 5 minutes later Umi, Hikaru and Fuu are standing on a table singing karaoke) Hikaru, Umi and Fuu: Oops we did it again....(all three fall off the table because it suddenly appears to be missing) AAAH! (they look up to see Aisha running off with it so they chase her. Aisha runs screaming through the house knocking stuff over as she goes) Serena: Ooh look pretty candles! Raye: Don't touch the candles... (Serena walks over to the candles and picks one up) Serena: Ooooh...ow fire is hot! (she throws the candle which comes in contact with the drapes and sets them on fire.) Serena: o.o Raye: Oh well...(she skewers a marshmallow and roasts it) (Aisha runs by and tosses the table into the fire) Aisha: Yay a campfire! (she sits) (Melfina and Amy being sober still notice the fire and run to the roof. They start waving lil signs around but end up falling off. Mina looks out the window and sees them fall and hit the ground rather hard.) Mina: We're gonna have a problem here..(she runs over to the phone to dial 911 but sadly cannot find the eleven. After a while of searching she just ends up dialing 911 to ask them where the eleven on the phone is) 911 person: Can I help you ma'am? Mina: It's awful, please help! 911 person: Please remain calm. What happened? Mina: SOMEONE STOLE THE ELEVEN FROM THE PHONE!!!! 911 person:...Are you drunk miss? Mina: Not really... Amy: (from outside) I think I broke something vital... Mina: Amy will you shut up? I'm trying to call 911 so I can get help for you geez. 911 person: Um...what is the address that you are at? Mina: Stop speaking in riddles dang you! 911 person: Nevermind...we'll trace your call. Have a nice day. *click* (Mina looks at the phone then hangs it up) Mina: Never did find that eleven.. (sirens are heard outside which causes everyone to run around hiding incriminating evidence) Trista: Maybe someone oughta put that fire out? (Everyone looks at the fire which has consumed more than half the living room) Aisha: Just leave it to Aisha! (She roars at the fire and it yelps and runs off) Everyone: o.O Aisha: Meow =^-^= (outside an ambulance pulls up. Azaka and Kamidake are driving and they back into the drive way) *Thu thump* Azaka:...That can't be good. Kamidake: Oh crap, you ran them over! Azaka: We'll just say that already happened. (they get out and float to the peoples) Melfina:...There goes the planet. (The two log peoples pick up the fallen peoples and put them in the ambulance. They then drive off) Announcer man: We'll return to the after school special in a minute! Luna: Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow.. Announcer: Cats know what they want...give them new crescent moon meow mix! Luna: Meow meow meow! -_-' They don't pay me enough to do this. (scene 6 Sasami's house. all the kids are having a sleepover) Meilin: I have an idea! Let's give the boys makeovers! (Jim and Li take off running) Sakura: Aww... Sasami: Oh well. (she puts Kero in a sweater) Kero: Hey get this thing off meeeee... (Kero flies all around the room frantically until he hits a window) Everyone: Oooh...>.< Jim: Is it safe to come out now? Rini: Only if the color pink suits you. (Jim goes back into hiding. Meilin gets up and finds Jim) Meilin: Isn't he so cuuuuute?!? Just look at those cheeks! (she pinches his cheeks) Jim: Ugh... Li: Hahaha you poor bastard. (Jim turns around and hits Li) Sakura: o.o THAT'S MY LI! Meilin: Just cause I GAVE him to ya. (Claims Jim as hers) Jim and Li: -_- Madison: Um...I'm just here... Sasami: Maybe we should tell scary stories. Everyone: Yeah! (they all sit in a circle with the lights out and a single flashlight on) Madison: Can I start? Rini: Sure. Madison: Ok, once upon a time there were these kids having a camp out in the forest... (Sasami grabs Ryo-Ohki and hugs her. Rini grabs Diana, Sakura grabs Kero, and Meilin takes Suppi because Sakura taked Kero from her) Madison:..And they were all having fun when suddenly....a monster appeared! (Suddenly something hits the door. Everyone screams) Sakura: Wow Li, I didn't know you could scream like a girl! Neat! Li: I'm ruined. -_- Meilin: Maybe someone should check the door? (Rini walks over and peeks out the door) Rini: AHH! OH MY GOD IT'S HIDEOUS!! (she runs off and hides under a blanket) (Sasami gets brave and walks over) Sasami: EEEEEEK! (she hides with Rini) Madison: What could it be? (the girls make Jim and Li go to the door since they are guys) Jim: Um....you go look. Li: Um....(he looks outside) EEP... Jim: What is it? Li: It's awful, hideous.....PURPLE! Jim: Wha? (he opens the door and is immediately hugged by the "monster") Meilin: Oh my God it got Jim!!!!!! Jim: Help...me...bones...crushing.... Sakura: AHH!!! IT'S BARNEY!! Barney: I love you! You love me! Sasami: NOOO! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!!! HE'LL HYPNOTIZE YOU! Barney: Lets play pretend! (he then starts skipping around) Rini: The horror....the horror.... (All the kids run screaming from the house) Barney: Aww I wasn't done! Announcer man: We'll return to the after school special in a minute! (commercial break) (Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup are sitting at a table) Blossom: Are you tired of being robbed of your possessions? Bubbles: Are you tired of the ceaseless crime?! Buttercup: Or maybe you're sick of monsters attacking the town? All: Well if you are come to BB&B crime agency!! Bubbles: For a low fee we will take care of any problem you might have! Blossom: Interested? Sure you are! Call 1-800-A whole lotta numbers! Buttercup: And we'll be there for you! (Bubbles draws something in crayon) Bubbles: Look! A picture of us saving the town! Buttercup: No one cares Bubbles -_- Bubbles: Yes they do! Blossom: Not now girls! Anyway that's BB&B crime agency! Buttercup: Hey, which of us is the first B? Bubbles: It should be me cause I'm the favoritest. Blossom: Well I am the leader.... Buttercup: I hold this team together! Bubbles: Oh yeah? Well....well...yeah! (the all start fighting as the phone number flashes on the screen) (end commercial) (scene 7 A Hospital. Amy and Melfina are in beds and Washu is dressed as a nurse) Washu: Time for your shots! Melfina and Amy: O.O (suddenly everyone else in the whole story comes running into the hospital room) Washu: What the hell are all of you doing in this lil room?! Everyone: We have to be here for some unknown reason other than in shows like this everyone ends up together! Washu: (blinks and looks at camera) I think they rehearsed. (Suddenly some guy that no one knows walks in looking all smart like) Guy that no one knows: Well you see what happens when people do bad things? Everyone: Uh..... Serena: Ack a test! I'm gonna fail!! Guy that no one knows: Well kids what have we learned today? Melfina: I learned I had broken bones I never knew I had. Ryoko: I learned when you drink and drive always carry donuts with you in case you meet a cop. Aisha: I learned tables burns really good. ^_^ Jim: I learned Barney should be annihilated. Meilin: I learned cats don't do well in blenders. (everyone stares at Meilin horrified) Meilin:...well they don't! Guy that no one knows: I think we all need a group hug! (they group hug and start singing and dancing in the hospital halls) Everyone: It's a sunshine day, everybody smiling, sunshine day..... Receptionist: (over intercom) Will the group of people singing in the halls PLEASE SHUT UP?? Everyone: Sun...shine....awwww Patients: THANK YOU GOD! (everyone leaves feeling rather rejected) The end