The Worst Fic Ever - By Greg "sgoast" Reynolds


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| Disclaimer:					 |
| I have absolutely no connection to Pioneer or  |
| any of the people that make "Tenchi Muyo!"     |
| therefore I would be quite pleased if I wasn't |
| sued. Yes, that'd be nice. "Tenchi" and all of |
| its characters are trademarked and so don't go |
| talking smack about 'em or else! Hehe ^_^      |
|------------------------------------------------|



Intro
(Author walks out onto stage)
Greg: Ladies and gentlemen. On the evening of September 4th, I embarked on a fan-fic mission... To make the crappiest fic ever. After a period of research on certain authors...
(Huge sign saying "CLAYTON OVERSTREET" falls down then pops back up)
Greg: ...I embarked on this mission. I will use various idiotic measures to show you how a fan-fic SHOULDN'T be.
(Pauses)
Greg: Hey! I've already started! I put myself in the fic! Heh. Well, here we go. Prepare your vomit bags...

Sene 1 - Ayeaka and Ryoko fight ofer tenchi

(Tenchi is being ripped apart by ryoko and ayeaka)
Ryoko: Get your hands offa him bitch!
Ayeaka: No! I dont wanna!
Tenchi: Girls! *Bites his lip* You know im just a man!
Ryoko: Yeah! Mine!
Ayeaka: Really? Then why is he in my blood line?
Ryoko: What are you talking about you overbeering *Bites her lip* Bitch!
Ayeaka: Well... (Goes into a long diatribe basically copying, word by word, each "Tenchi Universe: Space" Episode)
Ryoko: That doesn't mean s***.
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
(Washuu walks in and says something complicated... then bites her lip, Everyone stops and looks at washuu)
Ayeaka, Ryoko, and Tenchi: HI WASHUU!
Washuu: IM A GODDESS!

Sene 2 - Kyone and mihoshi make out

(Kyone and mihoshi make out)
Washuu: IM YOUR GRANDMA!

Sene 3 - Ryoki gives sasami a carrot

(ryoki looks in the carrot feild)
Ryoki: Where are the carrots?
Sasami: Hey wheres ryoki? Wheres my kabbit? Where is he?
Ryoki: Im right here bitch!
Sasami: OMG! You can talk?
Ryoki: I Can do alot more than talk... let me show u.
(Censored for content)
Ryoki: You like that diddn't you?
(Sasami bites her lip)
Washuu: IM MADE YOU OUT OF MAS!
(Kenny walks out and gets crushed by a carrot)

Sene 4 - The climax

(Tenchi is being ripped apart by ryoko and ayeaka)
Ryoko: Get your hands offa him bitch!
Ayeaka: No! I dont wanna!
Tenchi: Girls! *Bites his lip* You know im just a man!
Ryoko: Yeah! Mine!
Ayeaka: Really? Then why is he in my blood line?
Ryoko: What are you talking about you overbeering *Bites her lip* Bitch!
Ayeaka: Well... (Goes into a long diatribe basically copying, word by word, each "Tenchi Universe: Space" Episode)
Ryoko: That doesn't mean s***.
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
Ayeaka: Uh huh!
Ryoko: Uh uh!
(Kiyone walks in)
Kiyone: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, GREG?
Greg: CUT! What's wrong Kiyone....
Kiyone: This entire fic! Thats whats wrong!
Greg: *sighs*
Kiyone: Dont sigh at me! This thing was damned to begin with! First there was that STUPID stereotypical fight over tenchi! Then all those typos! Then...
Greg: Um, you're doing something wrong now...
Kiyone: What do you mean!
Greg: Your repeating something made painfully clear earlier.
Kiyone: ....eep
Greg: Welll, i guess its time to finish this thing.
Ryoko: Why?
Greg: Cause stupid fics are always short!
Ryoko: oh...
(Everyone else walks out on stage)
Greg: Goodnight everybody!
(Everyone bites their lip at once, Fade to black)