Zelda Outtakes The start of things.... Director: ok and action! Link: Huh? Prop guy: hey Link! You forgot your fairy! Director: Good god.... Link: Ok... Navi: THAT IS THE LAST TIME YOU PUT ME IN A BOTTLE! Prop guy: we need a new fairy... Navi: ok see if I ever help you! Director: ok people lets get going.... ok and action! Saria: Link! the Deku Tree has called upon you! Ruto: Am I in this sence? Saira: No! Go home! Link: Um ok.... Prop guy hands Link a shield. Mido: Ok what am I suposed to say now? Saria's wig falls off. Saria: AHHH Link: AHHH Mido: AHHH Navi: Ok already! Saria puts her wig back on. Director: God damnit what is so hard about pining your wig down?? cut..... Link gets the Kokiri Sword.... Director: Ok put the kid in the skirt near the other kokiri kid in a skirt.... Link: IT IS NOT SKIRT! I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS Director: ok everyone take 5..... *20 minutes later* Link: Its still not a skirt.... Director: Ok Link go right over there next to the Kokiri kid. Link goes over to the Kokiri guy. Kokiri guy: go through the crawl space and you'll find a sword. Link crawls through it. Link: I'm stuck!!! Prop guy comes over with an wind pipe and blows like through. Link: Gee thanks.... Link looks around the mini maze to see a huge rock rolling towards him. Link: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Link runs away with the rock right bhind him. Link: THIS WAS NOT IN THE SCRIPT!! Director: No its part of the game! Now go get the sword! Link amazing runs into a box and opens it almost falling in. Link: I got the sword!! Whoohoo!! Director: Ok and cut! Link and Mido....... Camera guy: Link look into the camera! Link looks up. Camera guy: the other way! Link looks down. Camera guy: here!!! over here! Link looks to the left. Camera guy: YOU BETTER GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME...... Link looks to the right. Camera guy: finally! Link twirls his sword around and. Mido: Stop right there you need a..... wha! a deku shield?? Link: yea now move it. Mido: And the Kokiri sword?? GOOD GRIEF.... Mido moves and Link takes his sword and pokes Mido and pulls of his shorts and runs away with them. Link: hahahha thats for teasing me!! Mido: y u little -------! Gimmie my shorts! Prop guy comes and gives Mido a new pair of shorts. Mido: These are plaid you idiot!! They are suposed to be green!! Mido is suddenly attacked by Deku Babas and runs away screaming. Prop guy: I had nothing to do with it. Director: Ok cut.... well that went nicely.... Link and the Deku Tree.... Link runs off towards the Deku Tree. Deku Tree: Ahh... Link... Deku Tree tells a long boring story about the 3 golden goddesses. Deku Tree: And their names where Naryu Din and Farore....Din of power Naryu of wisdom and Farore of Courage.... Link has fallen asleep. Director: Link! get up! Link: Wha! ok I'm up..... Yea.. goddesses.... courage power whatever.... Deku Tree: Anyway um I got this virus and these things are eatting me from the inside do you think you could kill them? Link: Yea sure.....^^() Director: And cut! Bring in the stunt double! Link: Wait! I can do my own stunts..... Director: ok have it your way.... and cut! Link inside the Deku Tree..... Link: its scary in here! I demand some lights!! Prop guy hands like a deku stick. Special effect guy mades a large flame appier next to Link. Link: AH Hey what have I told you guys about doing that?? Director: ok take it out he has to use the torches... Link takes the deku stick and runs over to the torches. Spider: Hey wazzzup? Link: which way to the boss in here? Spider: up there turn right then go straight and then.... Link: no its ok I think I can find it.... Spider: S'all right. Director: Hey who let him in here?? Get the bug spray! Prop guy sprays the spider. Spider: AHHH Prop guy removes the spider and replaces it with a Skulltula. Link: AH! Link runs away. Link climbs up the web and goes into a little room. Deku Scrub: Haha!! Finally I get to do something!! Deku Scrub pelts Link with deku nuts. Link: AH! Director: Use your shield!! Link: That might help... Link puts up his shield and is saved. Deku Scrub gets hit with the speeding deku nut. Deku Scrub: AHHHH!!! @.@ Link: Behold! The power of....uh what was the rest? Director: Anway someone tell him about that 2 3 1 thing...cut..... Link and the final room.... Link: Ok now what am I suposed to do? Link gets hit by speeding deku nuts. Deku Scrubs: INCOMING! Link gets hit and falls into the pool behind him. Camera guy: hey Link try 2 look content here.... Link; HOW CAN I LOOK CONTENT WHEN I'M SOGGY??? Link grabs 3 deku nuts and hits them in the right order. Director: That was not the point!! Now you ruined it... cut... -_-() Link and the boss..... Director: Ok this should be interesting... Crew: Yea!! Link: Huh? Director: O nothing...just look up. Link looks up to see a huge thing staring back down at him. Link: AHHHHH!!! looks like a cross between a spider and a contact lens.... Prop guy runs by with a sign that says "Parastic Armored Bug Gohma" Gohma: I beg your pardon but...I AM NOT A BUG! Can't you at least have better things for the bad guy here? Link: Good point.... Director:Fix the sign! Prop guy fixes it so it says "Arachnid" instead of bug. Director: Why couldn't I have picked to be the Tekken director? Director cries loudly and everyone stares. Director: *stops crying* DO YOU GUYS MIND? Crew: Sorry. Director goes back to crying. Gohma: Why couldn't I have been in a toothpaste ad like my sister? Woe is me... Director: *whining* cuuutt..... Link's Victory Prop guy hands link a sword. Link points his sword at Gohma. Link's sword suddenly flops over. Link: O crap... Link runs for his life. Gohma stomps after him. Link: WAAAHHHH!!! Director: haha! now who was the 1 who wanted 2 do his own stunts?? Link mumbles. Gohma: I better b getting paid for this!! Prop guy: hands link a broom. Link: Hey! You cheapstake what am I suposed 2 do with this??? Prop guy: good question... Gohma: AHHH!! A BROOM!! Link: }=) haha! Link runs after gohma with the broom. Director: ok then...I guess that works.... Link and Saria.... Link: Yesss! I finally got out of that stupid tree... Deku Tree: who u calling stupid kid? Link: I was umm...errr.. talking to myself! Yea thats it... Deku Tree: was I suposed 2 give u something? Link: -.- Prop guy runs on with the Kokiri Emerald and gives it to Link. Link: Hey thanx! This should b worth a million rupees on the black market... Director: LINK!! Link: I was kidding!! Director: u better b.... Prop guy: yea! that took look along time to get back from that creep with the hair! Ganondorf: I am not a creep I am the ----- Director: shut up already! u don't come on 4 a long time! Ganondorf runs away crying. Link: U mean he's the guy I gotta fight later? O god... Director: Sadly... Saira comes running on. Director: Who invited the green haired girl? What is it with Kokiris and green? Link&Saria: Good question. Link: But hey! I get to wear blue and green later right? Director: hey! green haired girl. Saira: My name is Saria u idiot... Director: WAHHHHH Link: Now you've gone and hurt his feelings.... Camera guy: Miss Saria I think your suposed 2 b in the Lost Woods right now.... Saria: O yea! I knew that.. ^^() Saria runs off to the Lost Woods. Link: Geez some1 get it 2gether around here! Director: Mayb we can get another Saria... Saira hears this from a distance(look @ those ears!) and throws a deku nut @ the director. Director: OW! Link: Saira! Saria: heehee.... Director: Cut....T.T The Fairy Ocraina.... Director: Ok we're @ the lost woods... Link!! Get out there and make this look good! Link: yea yea yea.... Link comes out with a map. Prop guy: Hey! No maps here! Camera guy: I didn't think there was a known map of the Lost Woods... Link: There isn't. Director: Then what was it? Link: A map on how to find the nearest domino's. Everyone falls down anime style. Link: You can't blame cute little me for being hungry can you? Haven't you noticed I never sleep or eat? Saira:(over the loud speaker) HEY!! REMEMBER ME?? Link: Ahahaha....^^() Director: Just go find Saria....-_- Link makes a vague attempt to find Saira and has no luck. Director: take 72...... *3 hours later* Link has finally got to the maze near the Forest Temple. Director: zzzzz.... Camera guy: Hey! Wake up! We got a game to shoot! Director: *falling over* I didn't do it!! Link: -.- Link comes towards the maze and c's the gate. Link: Hey! Who put the gate here? Prop guy: It wasen't me I swear.... *battle music starts* Link: AH! Suddenly a wolfo jumps out. Link pulls out his sword. Wolfo: Arroo! Link notices the wolf looks alot like the wolf in Princess Mononoke. Link: Aren't u that wolf from Princess Mononoke? Wolfo: Yes actually that was 1 of my many parts.... Link: Oooo! Wolfo: It wasen't easy... having that San girl on my poor back... And so they spend an hour chatting... Director: ugh... Camera guy: If u listen its actually quite interesting... Director: Ok who hired the mononoke wolf?? Crew: u did. Director: O....well um...4get the wolf! Wolfo:well I gotta sign some autographs....cya kid! Link: later! Link continues into the maze of "made bombers". Mad bombers pelt Link with deku nuts and Link goes flying backwards. Link: AHHHHH Link finally gets up after getting a few band-aids from the prop guy. Mad Bombers: r we being paid 4 this? Link runs at them with his deku shield knocking 1 out of its hole. Link: hahaha! Link runs around a few turns and runs into a few more mad bombers who knock him down yet again. Link: @.@ Mad Bomber: haha we got ya kid!! Link gets up and starts whining. Link: Hey! Director! This isn't fair! Director: sure it is! u wanted 2 do ur own stunts! Link: Well now I don't! Link stomps off the set. Director gets on his cell phone and calls some big buff guy. Buff guy: U rang? Director: Yea go get that kid in the skirt! Link hears this(the ears folks) and shoots the director with his slingshot. Link: Haha! Buff guy shoves Link back into the maze. Link:HEY! Link pouts.